Top 10 Wonky Christmas Movies

Finally, a new Top10 for the site! And I promise, there will be many more in the new year, as part of the some of the up-and-coming improvements I promised in a recent article here.

So, without further ado, and with keeping with the yuletide spirit, I present to you my selection for the best alternative Christmas films. If you still need to get some last minute presents, or have a little gift money left over after the Boxing Day sales, pick up one of these nods to the holiday period to keep you in spirit while still dipping a toe into the darker side of the Christmas pudding.

The criteria: it has to be set during Christmas, and not just have a brief mention of it. Also, it needs to be sufficiently left-field from the general Chrimbo vibe to qualify. There were many to choose from, and I've ensured plenty of deliberation (taking into account that I want to provide a variety here) so I hope you're content with my choices.

WARNING! Mild spoilers ahead...

10. Black Christmas (1974)

The original yuletide slasher pic, Black Christmas bucked the trend of the standard family yuletide movie with slaughter! Relentless in it's premise, and with a decently ominous ending, there's no forgetting the moment when Margot Kidder's "Barb" is brutally stabbed to death with that unicorn ornament, only for her screams to be drowned out by the carol singers outside.

9. Bad Santa (2003)

What really goes on in the mind of a working Santa building up to Christmas. In Willy's case (Billy Bob Thornton) he's a misogynistic, swearing, depressed drunk that just so happens to be a safe cracking expert. With his elf/partner in crime, each year they use their Santa's grotto to scope out stores for their annual haul. Redemption may be on its way, but Willy character stays true throughout...a brave move I think.

8. Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)

Stories of Santa in Finland aren't the conventional family-friendly ones a lot of us may know. In our Scandinavian neighbours mythology, Claus is a far more sinister being, reluctant to reward the nice and more tuned in to punishing the wicked. Off the back of some successful shorts with the same heading title, this Finnish perspective on Ol' Daddy Christmas is one you'll never forget. I probably would have been better behaved as a child had I have heard of this beast!

7. Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) 

Not only is this a brave angle for Burton to take, but it's also one of the most unique musical movies ever made. An original viewpoint on what Christmas means through the eyes of a Halloween child (perfectly illustrated during the unforgettably catchy tune "What's This"), Jack Skellington's attempt on improving Santa Claus through an Xmas Eve ride of his own is comedy gold. I just hope I don't get a head in any of my gifts!

 

6. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)

Most people remember Shane Black's return as a Xmas film thanks to a festive dress worn by Michelle Monaghan, but don't forget that the entire plot comes off the back of a promise of a gift to a child. Harry (Downey Jr.) is escaping the police who nearly caught him stealing his son's Christmas present from a toy store. During the chase, he accidentally auditions for a film part, leading to meeting Val Kilmer's "Gay Perry" for inspiration in the field and opening up a case of his own. 

5. Lethal Weapon (1987) 

From the opening of "Jingle Bell Rock", to the undercover sting at the Xmas tree lot, to Mr Joshua shooting a TV playing Scrooge, you're reminded at every corner what time of year this is set in. Still the quintessential buddy cop movie that others try to be, Shane Black broke the mould with his script and namely continued to write movies during the festive period (see Kiss Kiss Bang Bang above).

4. In Bruges (2008)

Not one to watch with your Nan after the Queen's speech, this fiery-tongued feast was a surprise hit. Hit men Ray (Colin Farell) and Ken (Brendan Gleeson) are sent by their boss to Bruges during Christmas following a problem with a recent job. Ken loves the place, but Ray is unsettled. They both try and keep themselves busy in their own ways, leading to both hilarious and disastrous circumstances.

3. Brazil (1985)

Many forget that Terry Gilliam's adult fairytale is set during Christmas, with Santa outfits and gifts throughout. It delivers itself as an attack on consumerism as much as on bureaucracy. Sam (Jonathan Pryce) fantasises of his mundane existence. Intrigue and a few random events start bringing his desires into life, blending truth and delirium. I highly recommend this rare treat!

2. Die Hard (1988)

Every action fan's choice for Christmas, Die Hard still packs a punch as McClane gate-crashes the most violent Christmas Eve party ever. Bruce Willis cemented himself in cinematic history with his yippe-kay-yay-ing, fire-hose swinging relentless cop. With Alan Rickman Gruber as one of the coolest badd this side of Vader, it's now a modern classic. And kudos for opening with Run DMC's "Christmas In Hollis" for that hip-hop yuletide vibe. 

"Ain't you got any Christmas music?"...

..."This IS Christmas music!"

And the winner is...

1. Gremlins (1984)

Am I that obvious? Well, it's clearly the finest Christmas movie ever made, wonky or not. I can't get through the Xmas period without watching this film at least once. Not only does it qualify as an alternative Christmas movie with it's dark horror undertones and cheeky humour, but it still manages to present itself as an overall proper festive film.

On release, many children of a generation wanted a mogwai. Gizmo seemed the perfect pet (we wanted a real one mind, not the suction-cup ones slapped against car rear windows!). Not only was he cute and fuzzy, but he had personality, brains, musical talent and a natural liking to other domestic pets...that is until he brings friends of his own.

This is where Gremlins is so brilliant. We can state the obvious over the gung-ho horror and dark humour (Phoebe Cates' Kate's retelling of how she discovered there was no Santa Claus, a prime example) but it's uniqueness comes in the species of the mogwai itself and the 3 rules of looking after him:

1. Keep him out of the light, he hates bright light, especially sunlight...it'll kill him.

2. Don't give him any water, not even to drink.

3. The most important rule, the rule you can never forget, no matter how much he cries, no matter how much he begs, never feed him after midnight.

...but rules are meant to be broken. When Gizmo gets soaked, he multiplies into nastier version of himself, and when they eat after midnight, you've got Gremlins in your house!

The Gremlins, to this day, are still absolutely brilliant. Teeming with character and bravado, their a non-stop gag shop and a force of blahsé death and destruction. Led by the first of Gizmo's new brother's, Stripe, they set about attacking the small American town they've made home, while Billy and Gizmo hatch a plan to stop them.

But overall, there is a still a Christmas message to bring. Some say it's a reminder of responsibility, to take care of your loved ones. Others, to stay positive in the face of adversity. But I think it's more direct than that... pets are life (or death!), not just for Christmas!         

Have an amazing Xmas everybody!

Just missed out: Go, Scrooged, Trading Places, 

Batman Returns, Jack Frost (the horror one!)

If you disagree, and have other suggestions, please post comments at the bottom of the post.

And don't forget, you can tweet me @filmbore or post on my Facebook page here.