Okay not strictly a Top 10 this, as we're attuning choices to the famous yuletide song but it's a list all the same. Plus, you only get ten choices normally, so consider the extra two as little pressies from me. It is Christmas after all!
The Twelve Day's Of Christmas is a globally renowned song that most of you should hopefully know. And in conjunction with the many tiers of crazy people or animals, embodied in some sort of occupational act, below I've listed a film (accompanied by an alternative) for each line of the tune.
Your challenge, if you wish to accept it, is to watch all of them by the time the holiday break is over.
WARNING! Some of these choices are a little convoluted!
Okay...let's start with...
This is probably the amount of drummers the band has gone through over the years! All the way back to John "Stumpy" Pepys in their earlier years as The Thamesmen, the bearer of the sticks in Spinal Tap was always doomed, pending a mysterious death.
Or...Wayne's World (1992)
Garth Algar can play the skins like twelve men. He likes to play!
...11 Pipers Piping...
The brass tones piping through the tubes of the Grimley Colliery Band could be heard for miles. I'd like to see any other team of pipers step up to this gathering of straight-talking northern miners.
Or...They Live (1988)
Rowdy Roddy Piper...nuff said
Catherine Hardwicke's biographical approach to the story of California's Z-Boys has the area's urban "lords" leaping all over the place, while they Olly and Kick-flick their way around town.
Or...The Madness Of King George (1994)
This actor's masterclass sees Nigel Hawthorne's king leap all over the place
Lots of dance scenes int his classic musical of course. Yet, there's nothing more vibrant than the ladies getting down to America on the Manhattan rooftops.
Or...Flashdance (1983)
Jennifer Beals. She's A Maniac. Need I say more?
...8 Maids a Milking...
The Help (2011)
This story, influenced by novelist Karthryn Stockett's experiences with African-American maids during the Civil Rights Movement is a moving depiction of the life of a maid in 60's America and the strain a journalist goes through to "milk" a good story!
Or...Milk (2008)
No maids...or milk...just the name...oh well!
...7 Swans a Swimming...
Black Swan (2010)
It may have polarised audiences but there's no disputing the stark beauty and sensational camerawork from Darren Aranofsky's take on Swan Lake while blended with Dostoevsky's The Double.
Kiera Knightley's Elizabeth Swann falls in water at the beginning. There you go!
...6 Geese a Laying...
Top Gun (1986)
When the ejector seat fails in this cheestastic classic, Goose is found lying in the sea by Cruise's Maverick...he'll be laying down for some time no Mav...
Or...The Wild Geese (1978)
Them old mercenaries could probably do with a lie down!
...5 Gold Rings...
Chariots Of Fire (1981)
Nothing better represents the five rings better than The Olympics, and this typical British biopic of two athletes competing in the 1924 event is a heart warmer.
Or...The Lord Of The Rings (2001 - 2003)
It's got rings in it. One main one anyway...
...4 Colly Birds...
Dumbo (1941)
Okay, so there's five blackbirds (or colly birds) who sing hysterically about an elephant flying but if you can just ignore one for me when watching one of Disney's most beautiful pictures, I'd appreciate it! Here's a shot with four if it helps...
Or... The Birds (1963)
Loads of birds in this. At least four of them must be blackbirds!
...3 French Hens...
The Triplets Of Belleville (2003)
Madame Souza and the Belleville sisters make up this trio of French dames in order to locate Souza's kidnapped grandson, taken from them during the Tour De France.
Or... Chicken Run (2000)
Okay, these hens aren't french, but come on!
...2 Turtle Doves...
The Killer (1989)
Parodied many times, John Woo's climatic church scene in this, one of his earlier Hong Kong action films, is iconic due to the continual flurry of doves during the big shoot-out. Plus, our two leads are draped in white clothes, mirroring their winged brethren.
Or...Bladerunner (1982)
Beautiful speech but I still can't work out where Roy Batty got that dove from!
...and...
Alan Partridge In A Pear Tree!
Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa (2013)
Was it that obvious?! Well, what else was I going to pick?
For those of you outside of the UK, you will have heard of Steve Coogan but not his most important character, Alan Partridge: a calamity of TV presenting, incredibly unlucky and nearly no vocal filter. He is, undoubtedly (debate with me, I dare you!) one of the funniest comedy characters to come out of the UK.
Besides the odd TV special and some webisodes, it has taken over a decade to move Alan from the small screen to the silver one, from when he last aired on British TV in I'm Alan Partridge in 2002. Yet, there was a lot of trepidation over whether the transition would really work, as it rarely has done in the past (Ali G anyone?!).
Thankfully, the years of patience paid off and the UK fan base were rewarded with Alpha Papa, a hilarious take on the siege film. Some didn't like, some were a little passive, some absolutely loved it. However, what's incredibly noticeable is the film's balance and pace. Yes, there are a few loose ends but this is a great move to cinema for the lovable pillock and I left the cinema amused and satisfied afterwards.
Well done Siege Face! Back of the net!
Or...Derakhte Golabi (1998)
Translated, this is The Pear Tree. That'll do!
Merry Xmas filmborians!
If you disagree, and have other suggestions, please post comments at the bottom of the post. Or, email me directly on topten@filmbore.co.uk.
And don't forget, you can tweet me @filmbore or post on my Facebook page here.
The only one I would add is "The Maid", otherwise top choices!
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